I want to begin by asking you these further questions:
How important is your Mental ,Emotional & Psychological Well-being and What are willing give-up to Protect your Sanity?
Hopefully, your response to the above questions, indicates that ignoring those intrusive thoughts, will only make things worse for you & your loved ones.
You can gain all the titles & qualifications in life, but they will not fill the void within, if you don't address the issues of abandonment & rejection linked to your past!
There's nothing to be ashamed off, we all experience intrusive thoughts at some point!
Don't lose anymore of yourself, by focusing on work and acquiring more titles you don't need!
Make up your mind to take action today, don't waste anymore time dabbling with your Mental Health & Psychological Well-being.